do some parents cater to kids? Have you guys seen the Pizza Hut commercial with the harried Dad, rushing into the house and tossing various fast food bags at his kids? The first time I saw it, I was dumbfounded!

When I was growing up, my brother and I ate what my parents ate. My mother didn't cook us separate meals! While we might not have liked everything she made, we were exposed to a wide variety of foods and liked at least one thing each meal. For example, I didn't like lima beans or peas and would gag when she made them. I'd pick them out of my tuna casserole or whatever it was and set them aside. My mother didn't punish me for not eating them, she didn't put them in a bowl and force me to eat them later, but neither did she leave them out when she was cooking the meal. When did parents become personal chefs for their kids? And more to the point, why?

I noticed this phenomenom at my cousin's surprise party. The kids didn't sit and eat turkey and mashed potatoes and squash and broccoli and stuffing and cranberry sauce with us. Know what they had? Chicken nuggets and mac & cheese (ok, I had some of the mac & cheese, but I still enjoyed the rest of the meal, too). My cousins and my brother and I would never have thought to NOT eat a meal like this, especially at Thanksgiving. In fact, we looked forward to it! It was a tradition! Apparently, these kids don't take after our side of the family LOL! I did notice that MB's daugter, Amanda, at least tried the plum pudding, instead of making fun of us for eating it (it's kind of a weird thing, an aquired taste, I guess). I find it strange that people don't at least taste something new...but I won't make fun of 'em for it...mostly ;-)

It's not mac & cheese or peanut butter? Then I'm not eating it! Hmmmph!

Okay did I miss something? What's NaBloPoMo? Second, I'm a very picky eater but I at least try everything. I still eat if I go to someone's house and they have cooked something that I don't really like!

Oh well, times have changed. Happy Monday!

I couldnt agree more.

We were not made seperate meals either. There wasnt even an option for that. If we didnt eat what was on the table...we didnt eat. We were allowed to snack, but we HAD to eat our meals!

Although, I have to admit, If I had to eat some of the stuff NOW that was cooked when I was younger...I think I would skip it!

I know exactly what you mean! I think kids should at least be encouraged to try new things.
Like you, we ate what was served. I eat everything! That's my problem! LOL

Ok, I'm one of those spoiled kids whose mom made her separate meals,or really just extra things like a vegetable I'd eat instead of what they were having. Mostly, she'd just make the meals we liked. Used to piss my dad off, too. "make her eat the green beans, or she'll go hungry!" He was such a meanie ;)

Sounds like it might be a generational thing since every commenter here is saying the same thing...We ate what we were made or we went hungry.

That cat looks like he did eat peanut butter with the coloring he has on his face!

this is a huge pet peeve of mine as well...I can't imagine even having the option of something other than what was fixed for a meal as a kid...

we do have a cat that will take your arm for some pnut butter though ;)

Oh hell no. My feeling is that kids will eat what you've offered when they get hungry enough. My mother never, ever made us separate meals and I don't plan to either.

One thing motherhood has taught me, though, is to never say never. But I'd like to say that chicken nuggets will not serve prominently in my kitchen, if at all.

I didn't have a personal chef growing up, and I don't play that with my son either.

I never cooked separate meals for my kids but I did do small things like: one son hated green bell peppers so I stopped using them in tomatoe sauce and macaroni salads so he would eat them.. sort of a compromise!

I tell my son, this is the the Marriott- there's no room service and there's no ordering off a menu. He eats what I cook and actually he is not a picky eater at all. I've never "dummied-down" my cooking for a kid and therefore he's developed a taste for real food- not chicken nuggets. That is something that's never come out of my kitchen!

My mother never would have even thought to fix seperate meals for us. She did make allowances when it was possible, like my oldest brother hated spaghetti sauce for a long time, so she'd take some of the noodles out before adding sauce, so that he'd have something to eat, but that was as far as it went.

As a parent, I have the "pleasure" of having a very picky eater (1 out of 3, not too bad). I've never fixed seperate meals for her. She either eats what I cook, or now at 16, fixes herself something that suits her, or she does without. I do cook things occasionally that I know are her favorites, but I do that for everyone in the family.

I totally agree with you! My mother fed my everything (obviously) I should owe it to her for my love of all types of foods!

Ever read "Bread and Jam for Frances"? One of the best kids' books about picky eating ever, I think. Frances likes bread and jam, and that's all, she says. No fancy things like spaghetti or anything like that. So her mom gives her bread and jam. All the time. EVERY time. Until, eventually, the things her parents are eating start to look pretty good. ;)

I have no children, but if I do someday, and they turn out to be picky eaters, I may attempt the same stunt and see if it works in real life. ;)

I too find it strange so many people are scared to try something new to eat, when there is millions of wonderful food and ways to cook. But, at home do not make special dishes for the kids unless you have something very special (f.i. very HOT, smells like hell food our sour food) or you're running a restaurant.

Nice photos, not forget to mention.

Uh oh!!

I was catered too all the time....!!! I guess it was because I was an only child so when I was cooked meals it was for me only. My dad wasn't home bc he was working and my mom is bizzare with eating. However for things like Thankgiving, I was usually told to eat what I wanted and leave the rest aside - or for any of the family meals in general. Usually nothing was made special for me, unless it was the time when I was a vegetarian and then my mom made me veggie meatloaf (minus the meat!). I did also get special vegetables cooked for me because I detest peas, lima beans, and aspargus. This still happens today, but it's cause my mom wants to cater to everyone, not because I insist on it.

I think it's why I'm a picky eater today. Paul was more raised like you, and he eats whatever. I am 100000000x more picky than he is and ... well sometimes am difficult. But that's why I chose what we eat most of the time.

However, I was raised differently than my cousins who when adult meals are made have to have something completely different. I would usually just have the variation on the theme, ie no peas and green beans instead.

I wonder that myself. Although I'm a very picky eater, I had to eat everything my mom made...even liver....YUCK!

Love the cat picture :)

Kids and pets, both strange and stubborn. Yep.

Although there have been some great things that have come out of the more modern ideas about being more involved with one's kids, etc. there are alot of things, like what you mentioned, that are just ridiculous. There are way too many things that we teach our kids today that are the antithesis to being able to hold down a job, function in society, etc. Having everything catered to you is unreality at its highest!

I never used to fix or have available different foods for the kids. They ate what we had or nothing, but then my Grandson who eats just like my husband did as a kid,(Very picky), was over at my house for dinner and my son was forcing him to eat. The poor kid gagged and cried and almost threw-up. I just couldn't take it. So at home he's made to try new things, but not at my house in front of me.
I did have to eat everything as a child or else. I just could never eat Liver and I would gag and choke and gag. I think that is why I can't see my grandson doing it. Plus once past raising your own kids you find that your ideas change alot. I didn't force my kids, but I also didn't cook seperate meals either. They weren't fussy like my husband, it seems to have skipped a generation.

We always ate what the grown ups ate. My problem? I ner didn't like anything..sigh..

We ate what was put in front of us. My mother wasn't the best cook so sometimes it was very nasty. And we weren't allowed to leave the table until our plate was empty. So I'd stuff my green beans in my pocket and dump 'em later.

Gord has a friend who cooks separate meals for their kids. All they eat is chicken fingers and pizza. No way!

I loved Bread & Jame for Frances! I'll have to get that for my kids.

My children (3) are decent eaters--they eat lots of veggies and fruit--it's the main course we have a problem with. What one kid likes one day, the others don't and he/she might not like it again the next day.

I try and rotate their "faves" but sheesh! It's a pain. And I don't usually cook anything extra--although my oldest is getting old enough to make something for herself.

Argh.

Wow....lots of interesting responses here. I fear for my life whenever I bring up other people's children. ;0]

But I most heartily agree. I was required to sit nicely at the table, dressed I might add, eat my food, use table manners and asked to be excused. I also had to set the table, make the salad and help clear the table. Then godforbid...I had to dustmop the dining room floor to clean up. HORRORS!!!
Let's not talk about the myriad of other chores I had...ya know what, let's. Starting when I was six, I had to come home from school and wash, dry and put away the dishes. I took the trash out starting at age 7. Mowed the lawn every week at age 9. Scoured the bathroom every Saturday morning and dusted the living room as well. I had to either hang the clothes on the clothesline and/or take them down, fold them and put them on everyone's bed or in the linen closet. I had to watch my sister whenever my parents went out. I had to clean the pool weekly (no real hardship there) and rake leaves in the fall and shovel snow in the winter.

Don't ask me what the current set of parents are doing with their children. I'm afraid for my life whenever I mention this particular phenomenon. Goodness knows you may scar a child -forcing them to do chores and eat proper food.

Och...don't get me started. Too late...already have. ;0]
♥Pam

I am the father of the kids that Janet has writen about in her comments. I would like to say just a few words to defend my family and clear up some missinformation. First, how nice it is to be able to look down from your perfect world Janet and make comments after spending a few hours with my family. When I was growing up, my parents taught me not to talk about people behind their back. If you took half the time you spent bashing my parenting skills and talked to me or to any one on your side of the family you would have heard(I believe, I don't deal with the absolute cetainty that you do) that my children have gagged through several meals at the very table that you were sitting at. In fact your beloved Rosa was crying one night because I made our eldest sit and try something that he did not want to. Second, my mother the one who forced me to eat lima beans as a child made the kids something they really liked for supper. You say that "when did parents become personal chefs for kids" , well when did my mother become the personal chef for you and her sister. She did both things out of love and the desire to give everyone what they wanted. Perhaps my mother should have served her favorite dish and made everyone else eat it. My mother went to far, far greater trouble and time cooking thanksgiving dinner for you than she did making something for the kids. Third, you are right my kids do not take after many of the traits of your side of the family, they don't smoke, they are not morbidly obese, they don't bring nips to the thanksgiving table to drink in front of children and they certainly didn't bash you based only on what they saw that day. Lastly, I joke about plum pudding with my mother all the time, I have had it every christmass that I can remember, perhaps you just didn't get the joke(surprising given your obvious light and jovial personality)
Sincerely,
Tim Penton
Ps If you ever write about my kids or wife again or so much as point a camera at any of them I will make sure your camera ends up floating in a river.
Pss Next time you want to debate or expond on parenting styles please include the names and pictures of your children so that we can contact them for reference

Hello Tim. I'm sure you will not be back to read any responses you might have elicited. But I would like to comment. Please indulge me for a moment. Although I do not know of your family, or situation and truly, of Janet's for that matter, I do think the topic of her post started with the Pizza Hut commercial and although she then talked about what, I'm assuming are your children, these children ate and didn't eat at a family gathering, the behavior is fairly widespread among American families as evidenced by it's seeping into television. That Pizza Hut commercial is a reflection of the current eating habits of children. And, as parents are solely responsible for the behavior of their children, it can only be inferred that the current parenting styles are responsible for the current eating habits of American children. It's always a losing conversation in my experience, to talk about other people's children. But there is an obvious change in the way children are being raised. I'm sure you've received many an email joking about 'when we were kids we had 3 TV stations and one phone in the house...' etc. etc. etc. So although Janet may have used your children as a recent example, it is pervasive in our society and it concerns me as well. What does this bode for our future? Have not all generations said the same about the ones coming up? Is this not a normal comment to make at some point in your life...i.e. "what's the world coming to?", so to speak?

Whenever human passion is stirred it is because there is usually something to it. Some truth, some hidden or repressed issue. While I thought your points are well written, it was when anger overruled and insults were issued, that you began to lose my support. Then, when threats were made, civility began to crumble. And I'm not involved in this situation. I can't imagine how it must feel to be threatened by a family member.

My advice to all involved parties is to have some charity for your family. For each other. We are human, we make mistakes. Put on your big boy underwear and apologize for such vile threats. And, other parties involved in this situation may want to consider putting on their big girl undies and doing the same. Families are precious no matter how well you do or don't get along. The world is a tough situation, a hard row to hoe, without adding family strife to the mix. It's okay to be human, be wrong, make mistakes. It's not okay to tear apart families on a misunderstanding. It's just plain silly. Be the grownups you are supposed to be and sit down, face to face and apologize, forgive & discuss (which by the way, can only be done after you have been honest with yourself)and find a common ground. Do not let pride tear you all apart. Agree to disagree. Or better yet, let love fill your hearts and guide you and you can never go wrong.
Please, I beg of all of you, for all that is kind and decent in the world, find a way to work thru this situation. You can only come out better at the end, especially when guided by truth and love.

Janet, none of this was my business and if I were a smart and less passionate woman, I would have kept my mouth er...my keyboard still. If you feel I have impinged, in any way, shape or form on decency and civility and for that matter friendship and trust, then by all means, remove this comment. I will understand and accept responsibility. I could not though, see an opportunity, to hopefully remind folks to love each other, warts and all, pass. It's what I have in my heart today and I wanted to give it to you and your family.
All my best,
♥Pam