Mom's memorial service was perfect yesterday.

Backstory: My friend, MaryEllen (ME), flew into Manchester Saturday morning, I picked her up, we went shopping and commenced to cooking. She made 5 pounds of meatballs in sauce, and italian sausages with pepper and onions. While she was working her fingers to the bone, I made veggie dip, clam dip & onion dip, sliced 8 green peppers and chopped one clove of garlic. The cold cuts (1.5 pounds each of rosemary ham, maple turkey, roast beast, 3/4 pound each of german bologna and genoa salami and 3/4 pound each of baby swiss, mild provolone & american cheddar) we decided to roll Sunday morning, along with setting up the veggie tray, pickles, chips, etc. We finished in time to check ME into the hotel, chill out for 15 minutes and then head to Julie's house to see her baby and go out to dinner. Another friend, Maureen (Mo), checked into the hotel just as we finished up dinner, so we dropped Julie off and headed back. After talking for awhile, I went home, to NOT sleep, altho that surely wasn't in my plans. I did fall asleep around 4 am and woke up at 910 am to snow, ice and lots of wind. Did I say it was a balmy, calm 57 degrees the day before?

I was supposed to pick up ME and Mo at the hotel at 930; didn't get there til almost 11. I forgot I'd told Julie we'd be at the church at 1130 (altho in my own defense, I'm never on time even in the most optimal conditions); we saw her in the center of town as we were on our way to the florist, grocery store & card store and said we'd be right there. We arrived 45 minutes later; naturally, she was annoyed, especially as nearly the same thing happened the day before (she was to meet up at the church, we were 1/2 hour late, and she went back home as she had the baby in the car with her).

Once we got there, we started working, getting out the platters, arranging some greens on them, rolling the cold cuts, making everything look good. And by we I mean ME, Mo, Aislinn, Krista, Maribeth, Julie and my brother. I think I wasn't much help at all at this point, except the one time I made everyone laugh when I looked in the kitchen, saw my friend Mo & my brother Larry in there working and said, "There's Mo & Larry...where's Curly?". Lots of people started drifting in and the choir had a quick practice in the hall adjacent to the kitchen.

I left to go home and change about 1:20 and when I got back it was pretty much time to go sit for the service. My father, brother and I sat in the first pew; next to me was Maribeth. Behind us was the rest of the family and behind them were my friends. I wished so much I could turn around and see everyone, but I didn't.

The hymns and music chosen were all unfamiliar to me, except for "Amazing Grace", which they did in a gospel style. The choir, which consists of maybe 18-20 people swelled to about 30, accommodating all the members that had moved away, but wanted to sing for my mother. One of those folks sang solo during one of the songs, and what an amazing voice he had. They sang "Just a Closer Walk With Thee", "Lonesome Valley", "People Need the Lord" and "The Old Rugged Cross". Not a note out of place and Mom's friend, Carolyn, played the organ flawlessly.

The minister shared with me the draft of his reflections Saturday night; I only asked him to change one thing, which he did. His Liturgist started out the service, and did the scripture readings, which she did well.

My brother got up and spoke, which was very, very hard for him as he was extremely close to Mom, but he contained his emotions and spoke beautifully, as did my cousin, who was up after him. It was an honor to listen to the wonderful things they had to say. The third speaker was Mom's choir partner; at the start of his speech, he said: Betty teased me all the time in life, and even from the grave she got a last laugh--when I opened the program and saw my name listed as speaker!

Towards the very end of the service my friends, who will be known as the kitchen fairies from now on, got up to make sure things were ready back in the hall. Seriously, without them, I'd've been lost. They did everything from setting up to cleaning up to ensuring everyone had signed the guest book. ME was the master arranger; her troops included Maureen, Aislinn, Krista, Maribeth, Julie, Megan, Jim, Diana, Diane. It was amazing to me how well they all worked together, how they just got done what needed to be done, seemlessly and with a smile.

My brother and I stood and greeted everyone as they came into the hall after the service, and almost everyone had a funny story to tell about Mom. I heard 3 spitball stories, and one woman, who used to work with my mother, said that she and Mom used to say that their kids were never boring and enabled them to lead very exciting lifes (an aside to how bad my brother and I and apparently this woman's children were as kids LOL).

It was so nice to see all these people come out in the cold, wintry weather to say good bye to Mom. I loved being able to see my non-blogging cousin, Mel, Auntie Rosa, cousin Rikki, and some of Mom's old friends; Mrs. B & her family, the Clarks, Mrs. Holloway & her daughter, the Taylors, and even Mr. Risher, who I hadn't seen since I was 12 and who looked exactly the same (he was the one person in line that said remember me? and I did).

Things started to wind down about 430 or so, and by 5 the hall was clean, everything was packed up and Megan & Jim took me out for dinner, thankfully, cause I hadn't eaten anything all day, except for a carrot here or a piece of a red velvet whoopie pie there. I think I had an anise cookie, too, oh, and Pat filled up a coffee cup with a Bailey's-like drink and said, while I was in the line, here's your "special" coffee...I thought it was coffee and took a big sip...OOH!

One of the things people kept saying to me, my newer friends in particular, was that they wished they'd known my Mom, that she sounded like an amazing woman...and she was.

Then I went home, Dad thanked me for making the day special, but really it wasn't me, I couldn't have done any of it without a LOT of help from my friends!

I am so glad that things went well. It sounds like it was all so beautiful.

I wasn't sure we were going to make it. But we did. Just goes to show ya, what love can do!

People seem to pull together when needed the most.....
Im glad it went well. It sounds like it was a beautiful service......

How wonderful how everything pulled together so well!

i am glad to hear that it went well and how nice to have your friends there to lend a hand, you deserve it...it sounds like a lovely service filled with lots of fond memories of your mom. hugs!!!!!

It's so lovely to know you have such a terrific bunch of friends. I'm glad it was a beautiful service. You were in my thoughts today, hope you're doing okay :-)

It really was a wonderful service. A great way to say goodbye. I'm glad we were able to help you out. I'm glad I was able to meet her before she passed away. And I'd like to say, again for the record, that you're more like your mother than you care to admit ;)

It was a beautiful service...I bet she was looking down from above being so proud :)

You've been in my thoughts this weekend, even though I didn't get it together enough to visit your blog. Take care.

Isn't it funny how you can feel so filled up while at the same time sad. I felt so much love at my dad's recent funeral and so supported, such a contrast to the grief. My mom keeps saying, "I'm so proud of my kids for giving him such a good send off." Sounds like your mom a good one too. I'm happy to hear it went well.

So glad that you are pleased with the service, and that you were surrounded by good friends.

Your Mom is truly loved by many.

That sounds like a fitting memorial to your Mom. Faerie kitchen helpers are the best kind.

Sounds like the services went well. I'm sure your Mom was looking down and was very proud of you and how the day went!

Hang in there kiddo - :-)

You are so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I'm sorry for your loss.

Here from Michele's today

I can't imagine such a loss...Glad to read the memorial service turned out the way you wanted it.

I was wondering how things had went, glad to hear that it was such a great day. As I've said before, you and yours always make the best sounding food!!!

I'm so happy for you that it was such a marvelous day and am glad people were able to come out to remind you, your dad and brother, and each other how amazing your mother was.

Looking forward to meeting her someday.

Im so very glad i was able to make the day a little easier for you.

J, I do wish I could have met your mom. She sounded like such a wonderful and fun woman. It really was such a beautiful celebration of her life.

As far as helping out, that's what friends do... No questions asked. If you say you need me, I'm there! I'm honored that we are in each other's lives like that.

On another note, I hope work isn't beating you up this week! And I have to say, I think it may have been a sign when someone told you that you should be a professional photographer on Sunday.

It sounds like it was a wonderful tribute...Losing a Mom is never easy, that is great that you had such a heartfelt day to celebrate her life.

I'm glad the day went well for you and your family and that your friends showed the importance of true friends.

I'm sure your Mom was smiling as she looked down on the tributes honoring her.........:-)

Janet, I know your mom really was appreciating this! What a beautiful way to let go, say goodbye, and honor her!

I am truly honored to have been asked to be a Kitchen Fairy. Your mom was a sweet and beautiful person. After such a cold and blustery day, the gorgeous pink sunset thru the kitchen window that we saw was her way of saying thank you for such a lovely day, I am sure.
{{{{Hugs}}}}