1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house - move away immediately.
3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
4. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
5. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
7. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
8. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
9. Do not take anything from the dead.
10. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
11. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
13. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.

I am such a terrible wimp, I really get scared on Halloween!

I always wonder that on #1 when watching a movie. I'm like, "You know that thing is not really dead, STUPID!"

Or, those that check out "what the noise is". Not me....I'd be so out of there!

Words to live by. I myself always go back and make sure the bad guy is really dead;)

OMG! ROFL!!!!

They always always check to see if the monster is dead. So aggravating.

Awesome. I love scary movies. U forgot one of the big ones though. Never say "I will be right back when u leave a room, because u won't be". HEHE

If any of this stuff comes up I'll think of you. Happy TT!

These are very good tips, I will keep them in mind! :) I'm going to defeat that stereotype of women tripping though!

I saw that a movie called "The Ninth Gate" is coming on Sci Fi on Friday night. I never saw that one with J.D.

Definitely staying away from Amityville! :-@

:~) Got it.

#1 sure gets bunches of heroes in the end!

SJ Reidhead
The Pink Flamingo

And that locked room at the end of the upstairs passage that everyone is forbidden to go into -- don't go into it!

Nilbog?

Nilbog?

This list is perfect, not just for Halloween but anytime.

And yes, I do run slowly enough (and with my short little legs, too) that a monster ambling along behind me would catch me.

Probably before I fell twice.

Yep, I'm THAT slow. Why do you think I like my bike so much???

you forgot the one about NEVER having sex - because those "doing it" are always the first to go!

(My 15 year old daughter LOVES Snape too) I liked #3 the best - great list. See ya.

And ... we named a kitten we got recently - Snape. Now I'm gone. See ya.

I've read these before, and they're still great.
Happy TT!

Great tips. You could probably add one about ventriloquist dummies. They have a bad habit of coming to life when you turn out the lights, don't they? (smile)

ROFLMAO... loved #1...why do they always check or leave the weapon?? I dont get it!! Thanks for the laugh. Happy TT.

One of the funniest posts I've read all day! Thanks for sharing (and thanks for visiting my TT)

# 10 is so irritating. Sometimes, they're even wearing high heels and don't have the sense to take them off.

Hehe, funny list.
Halloween just doesn't happen here.

I'm such a wimp too, that I actually took this list seriously for the first two items! Great list!

Funny list. Thanks for stopping by.

But how will I know that it's the portal to hell, there goes my puzzle hobby.
My son's head starting spinning just today..should I worry now or wait till he starts chanting in Latin?

Very funny list, I think you have a movie plot in you just dying to be filmed.

Awesome list...but my hubby is out of town for two weeks and now I'm scared..UGH !!
Happy T13!

All very good and sound advice!! ;) I love Halloween, been watching horror flicks all month!!

Happy TT!

LMAO! Great list! Happy TT!

It's too late, I have to stay in my house although a man hanged himself in the neighbor house across the street ! But that was before our arrival, lol !

This sounds familar

Is is bad that these made me laugh so loud my baby woke up? Yea, it's bad, but the list is great. Hilarious!

Excellent advice. I'm noting it in my PDA now, just in case I run across any of those situations.

I loved the last one. I do not know what I would do if a stranger come up to me with one of them.

That was hilarious! And so true.

But what about splitting up? That never works out well.

Great list there is my favorite one of if your wearing heels & being chased take them off lol happy TT-

Funny funny stuff. Love #6 - Happy TT!

Our toilet seat keeps slamming itself shut! We also have a ghost tour in Floyd now. I don't know if I even want to know. I'm easily spooked!

LOL, I love #5: "just shoot them". :)
Good advice in any case. I'm generally not even watching horror movies anymore, because I get fed up with the stupidity of the characters. *sigh*

How about: "If the house tells you to 'get out'? Leave the house."

Great TT! :)

Now this was an awesome Thursday T13. My kind of post. :o)

I would add: Never, under any circumstances check to see what may be behind billowing draperies, especially if you know the windows behind them don't actually open.

Well done. What a fun idea for a T13 list.

very cute!!

LMAO! These are great. Happy TT!

Wait a minute...the power switches are in the basement...and I moved to a small town in Maine!

Oh, and two years ago Stephen King left a message on my answering machine. Should I be worried?

Love your TT! I'm always thinking these out loud when I'm watching a halloween movie...

#1 is always sage advice. I would add not to leave your knife or other weapon of slayage in them or lying anywhere near them.

I recognize Nilbog. *shudder* Pity me.

Great list. I just Googled Nilbog. Now I know. The horror!

Love it, if only all the characters in horror films had read this first! lol

Never check the basement is right. Never, under any circumtances!

LOL!
I hate to admit it but.....I'm one of those people that's always yelling stuff at the screen during horror films.

Hahaha! The "goblin" and increased hairiness are my favorites :0 Mine's up, so plz come by when you have a chance! Happy TT :)

Hahaha! The "goblin" and increased hairiness are my favorites :0 Mine's up, so plz come by when you have a chance! Happy TT :)