What I Know About My Mother: Mom was born in Amish country in PA. When her mother and father divorced, she moved with her mom and 2 brothers to Brighton, MA. She loved singing and was a member of the choir at the Allston Congregational Church and then the First Congregational Church in the town I grew up in. When Dad wanted to buy the house "in the surburbs", Mom was worried there'd be nothing to do, having grown up a city girl. She needn't have worried...she was very involved in church and she worked, first for a lawyer in Boston, then at Bon Marche, a department store in downtown Lowell, then as a church secretary and finally as a secretary in the special needs department of the local high school.

In her younger days, she loved an ice cold gin & tonic; as she aged, she found a chardonnay would do the trick. Mom loved to talk and socialize; at the restaurants my parents frequented, they knew everyone's names. As she grew older and it became harder and harder for her to get out and about, she became a very avid reader. She'd always loved to read (that's where I got my love of reading from), but now that her world was so limited, she'd pick up a book and that bad things would melt away. She always gave her books away when she was done...to friends, the church or to the hospital, where she ended up spending so much time during her last year of life. Mom's other favorite beverage was coffee...black!

Although my Dad's mom didn't really accept her (no one was good enough for her Georgie LOL), the rest of Dad's small family did, and I have so many great memories of time spent on Cape Cod with them. Heck, she'd even agree to vacations spent camping, cause she knew we kids enjoyed it so much. Her idea of a good time did NOT involve sleeping in a tent! My parents also took us on vacation to where Mom grew up, Lancaster PA, and we'd have shoofly pie, big soft pretzels, lebanon bologna, scrapple and other delicacies of the area.

She made a big deal out of each holiday for my brother and me; new outfits at Easter, costumes at Halloween and big to dos at Thanksgiving & Christmas. Our family tradition was to make cookies, called "Sand Tarts" at Christmas. Mix the dough, roll it out and use cookie cutters to cut them into the shapes of christmas trees, bells, stars, santas, a scottie dog, a horse & a fish. All the cookies except the fish, after being brushed with melted butter, got colored sugar or sprinkles. The fish, always, got cinnamon & walnuts. I loved making those cookies with my parents as a child, less so when I got older. When I lived in Japan, my parents would send me care packages all the time and always those cookies would arrive at Christmas. I made her some Christmas of 2004, when she could no longer make them herself. She was quite surprised, I think.

Things got strained between us when I reached my early teens...I'm sure it was rough for her as she and Dad didn't have children til they were in their mid-30s, so Mom was hitting menopause when I was hitting my teen years...a volatile combination, to be sure. Nevertheless, I always felt she was there for me if I needed anything.

She traveled alot with Dad after they retired...driving cross country and even coming to visit me in Japan (Me: Mom, what do you want for breakfast? Mom: cornflakes...it doesn't have fish in it, does it??? Me: LOL!) where they had a great time (I think).

What I Wish I Asked You Then......Why couldn't we be closer?

What I Wish I Could Ask You Now.......Are you mad at me for not being there when you died?

I borrowed this idea from Terri quite awhile ago, and really struggled with writing it. I tend to not think about things that bother me or cause me pain, and because I feel so much guilt about my Mom's passing...well...

But, of course, I do think about her and remember her every day in 1,000 different ways, and wanted to talk about her on my first ever Mother's Day without her.

Happy Mother's Day to you, Mom, I love you.

Also, Happy Mother's day to all you Moms, grandmoms, step moms, moms that have furkids only, and women that wanted to be moms but for one reason or another didn't become moms. Here's a picture for you, especially Mel & MB, who love lilacs:

I call it Lilac Dreams...

Janet, that was just beautiful.....Im sure you Mom is smiling down at you...

Thank you and Happy Mother's Day to you too......

There are a million reasons why I love having you as my friend, this post is one of them. I know it was not easy for you to think and write about all this but it is wonderful to hear your memories. Happy Mother's Day in rememberance to Betty!

I was going to email you to see how you were doing today, but then I read this beautiful entry. I love the picture of your mom with you and your brother as a little kids.

Your Mom adored you, but I think it was hard for her to show her feelings. I remember when she saw me after Katie died she just looked at me and couldn't speak. But in her eyes I could see all that she wanted to say. It was easier for her to joke and tease, than to be syrup-y and lovey. That just wasn't her.
I don't think she really wanted you there, when she passed. She knew what a gentle soul you are and probably didn't want you to suffer.
You were her little girl and I know how much she loves you, even now.

Janet - you and your family are in my thoughts today. Also? That figure you have - the angel? I have a couple from the same collection!

Hugs to you today! And give your 4-legged kids treats from us!

What a wonderful tribute to your Mom. Hugs to you today. (((hug)))

beautiful and so honest writing.
(hugs)

I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Thanks so much for that beautiful post and the gorious picture. I do love you, your Mom, and Dad (and lilacs too).

Oh, wow...I love this post for a million reasons and your site for a million more. I lost my mom three years ago and posted my own tribute to her today. These things aren't easy to write, are they?

...Going off to ask my own questions now.

Visiting from Michele's!

I'll be back -- I adore everything Harry Potter and would love to talk with you more!

That was beautiful!

I've been to Cape Cod ages ago with my Dad, just wonder what he's doing now.

Happy Mothers Day, Janet!

Nice to meet you!

What a lovely, loving post.

Janet- This is beautiful and I'm sure your mom is looking down at you smiling :) What a nice rememberance of her :)

Simply beautiful entry. Thank you for sharing so much about you Mom with us. I'm sure she is very proud of you and misses you very very much. ::HUGS::

Well, I've choked up a few times this weekend and I just did it again. Thanks for sharing this, Janet.

Janet, this is beautiful. I've got tears in my eyes. I've just gotten back from Albuquerque (visiting my mom) and I have an even greater appreciation of the fact that she is still here after reading your own very beautiful words. I know your own mom is as near as your heart and keeping you near to hers. I left you another email addy for contact. I'm so very sorry that my original one was full but I've been gone for a week and haven't been able to get to stuff there quickly enough. The email addy I left you is the one I think I'll be using for friends correspondence so it won't get maxed out all the time.

Thinking about you today and wishing you well!

whoops! but I don't see the email addy showing up so here it is:

etherealfire@netscape.net

Beautiful subject to write about and you did it really well. I don't think your mother is mad at you for not being there. Mother's dont get mad like that, sad yes, but not mad! She loved you,that's enough reason why not being mad....

What special memories!
You are sooo lucky that she travels so far for you and sent you care packages with the special cookies and loves you sooo much. Made tears come. ((()))

What a beautiful tribute to your mom !

Michele sent me...