I heard American Girl by Tom Petty this morning on the way to work, and it flashed me back to ... well, Japan, of all places.

I lived on the six floor of Hakata Towers on Yokota Air Base.

The apartment was beautiful and brand new, we had 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a washer & dryer and 2 balconies with great views.

One day I was out on the balcony, thinking about things when American Girl came on the radio:

It was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony
She could the cars roll by
Out on 441 Route 16 yeah
Like waves crashin' in the beach
And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God it's so painful
Something that's so close
And still so far out of reach

I'm wondering if you know who "he" is.

While listening to that song this morning and thinking, it occurred to me that my new friends don't know much about my past, and maybe that's as it should be. Does it have any bearing on my present? Sure, all actions have causes and reactions, right? But is it important in the long run?

Hmmm...

Eh, I always enjoy learning new things about my friends. When the drop something into conversation that they think I know, and I'm all, "Whoa. Back up there." Keeps things interesting.

Ah, wonderful memories I'm sure.

I think it is important for you to have a good grasp on your past and how it has affected, molded and shaped you. I'm not sure its as important to have your friends know or understand your past unless the there are things from your past that are still important to you. I love to share stuff about my past that influences my likes, tastes, etc today but that is predominately fun stuff that is still very much a part of my present. I see no need at present to dredge up past mistakes, etc. for all to see. I think there are moments when a friend is in need, etc. that sharing something from your past can be a bonding/comforting experience but I really think those times are few and far between. Who you are now is what is most important as is who you want to be.

Carl: I guess I didn't explain myself well enough. I'm not dredging up past mistakes or anything like that. I like my life. I just find it funny that people who occupied such important roles in my life in the past are completely unknown entities to people that occupy important roles in my life now.

I think it's all up to the person whether it's important or not. If you bring it up and want to talk about it, I think it's your mind telling you that it's important. But if you don't bring it up it's that you don't feel its important to explain who you are or perhaps you just don't feel comfortable enough to tell them.

I think what has happened to us in our past does shape who we are but most times you can kind of guess what type of experiences a person has had by who they are and how they act- to some degree. Like you can make a good guess that someone's had a cheating boyfriend and been burned by them if they are really jealous & insecure. So sometimes the stories are surprises but more like that makes sense why you see things in that way? Maybe... I'm babbling.

But if you'd like to share some stories, I'm all ears. :)

That can be odd, especially if the people from the past are/were significant others.

It is somewhat odd and unsettingling looking back at people that you would swear would always be in your life, and an important part, are now not a part of it at all. I would have never guessed that some friendships from my past wouldn't have been life long. I'm sure I have some part to play in that which is why I make an effort to nuture the relationships that are important to me...even the ones of friends who live far away...just so that relationship doesn't become only a thing of the past.

Thanks for thinking of me and of Shubi.
I loved seeing the pictures of your Japan home. Just beautiful! No wonder you hated to leave there!

It is an interesting question you raise. I am not sure it is "necessary" that your current friends know all about those event/people that were important to you in your past. I think that over time these things come out as Michele said above. When they do they make for the "hey I learned something new about you" and also the longer you are friends with someone and the more you share I think it does deepen the friendship at some level.

I have the same disconnect between parts of my past and my current life. I've had moments, talking to current (good) friends where they've said "who?" or "WHAT?" when I mentioned someone or something from years ago. It can be a strange feeling.